There are a lot of traits Rob and I are anxious to see if Taylor inherited (or DIDN'T!). Unfortunately, we both had colic as babies and have passed that to Taylor. Even after finding Gripe Water (which I highly recommend) she still has bouts of what appears to be extreme discomfort. As her parents - it's really tough to see her hurting so much... we would do anything to keep her happy, heck, we'd even settle for semi-content. But sometimes no matter what we do it doesn't work. It seems like she's fighting us every step of the way until eventually she gives in or it's time to eat again.
A lot of times she seems to be calm and content until something small changes that - typically this involves her pacifier falling out of her mouth. Of course, I love the notion of her being able to soothe herself, but in these delicate times we jump at the chance to keep her calm by putting that paci right back in her mouth. Sometimes it's easy... other times it's not. At first it was somewhat comical - she goes from calm, cool, and collected to eyes and mouth wide open frantically looking for the fallen paci. Just picture it - mouth agape, head swinging from side to side, limbs stiff, back arched (poor thing is hoarse today from so much crying/screaming yesterday). By this point she's never alone and we usually have her in one hand and her paci in the other. We hold the paci in her mouth as she's searching for it but she doesn't understand that we're trying to help her - that if she would just relax a little and let us take care of her that she would get what she wants and needs. But she continues to fight us every step of the way. I don't know what newborns think, but if it were me and I was putting up that kind of a fight I'd be thinking I knew best. Doesn't she see that WE know what's best for her?
In the midst of her struggle I was reminded of this song called "By Your Side" by Tenth Avenue North. It's a Christian song (here's a link to a version of it on You Tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J95rAr0gOFU). I encourage you to check it out and listen to all the words at some point. The part that was sticking in my head was the chorus which is God talking to us. It says:
"And I'll be by your side, where ever you fall in the dead of night. Whenever you call, please don't fight these hands that are holding you. My hands are holding you."
I keep begging Taylor not to fight me... "Taylor, please don't fight me... I love you..."
If I feel this way towards Taylor, I can only begin to imagine how God feels when we fight Him. I think He's just waiting for us to recognize that He, as our Father, knows best and loves us more than we could ever fathom! We've just got to trust Him... but we're like infants... thinking we know best... constantly struggling. Luckily, we're always in His arms and He's ALWAYS reminding us that he loves us and will never leave us. Thank you, Lord. Boy, I need you.
4 comments:
Shannon said...
That was good - and so true! Isn't it amazing how much we begin to understand about the Fathers love for us as soon as we become parents. It's intense!
I'm sorry you guys are dealing with colic - hopefully it will be short-lived. Love the paci pics - she is beautiful!
Lizzie Collum said...
That is a great song! I actually have never heard it! Thanks for sharing it...I could actually use it right now too with my terrible two's, strong-willed child! Taylor's a beautiful baby and I am sure you are doing a great job! Hang in there...
Amy Blazek said...
You may want to try Humphreys #3. They are teething tablets, but they have natural calming agents in them. They are homeopathic like the gripe water (which I love also!) I'm sure you guys are doing great. I know it can be so frustrating at times! That song is one of my favorites! My KLOVE station helps calm me down when we are having one of "those days!" Reminds me that He is in control.
PS> Your post made me cry! Go figure!
Anonymous said...
Erin, you have to see them live - this was on their site for Tx:
Apr 30, 2010
College Station, TX
"UNTIL THE WHOLE WORLD HEARS" Tour - Texas A&M Univ/Reed Arena, MS 1128
With Casting Crowns and Caleb
-Dana